Coping on Yelp

Sundaes-Cones

Chase Compton {yelp profile} writes sentimental Yelp reviews.

Actually, the word “review” is an understatement. Chase is broadcasting his breakup, re-living his favorite moments of a bygone relationship through the germane medium that is the Internet review.

From his 5-star review of Sundaes and Cones in the East Village {yelp}, sandwiched between a 4-star review of the ice cream cookie cake by Charissa I. and a 3-star review by Kristina L. (pro tip: don’t get the green tea flavor):

I stood at the display case and stared intensely at all of the beautiful ice cream cakes. They were so artfully minimalist, and beautiful, and I thought about how easy it would be for me to eat one in its entirety. There was one in particular that stood out to me that was different from the rest. It was a small cake with green frosting that was made to look like grass, with patches of little green icing that looked like shrubbery. Dotted amongst the shrubs were little piles of brown fondant shaped like piles of poop. At this, I laughed.

I wanted this cake with all of my heart, and wished that someone would buy it for me. I wanted this cake to be my wedding cake, because it made all of the sense in the world. Life is shitty. Shit happens. Shit hits the fan, but thank God there is ice cream cake in the world. My relationship Him was the absolute embodiment of this very cake sitting in the case before me. It looked very shitty–it really did. It was covered in poop, and probably not many people would consider it to be something worth craving. But I knew that in my heart that it wasn’t really poop–it was frosting. It was all just freaking frosting. Beneath that shitty visage that the world is tricked into seeing was ice cream. And cake. And I love ice cream and cake.

For more, check out his interview {npr}.

{Image above via Empire Guides.}