“You Look at Me Like You’ve Never Seen a Neo-Hipster Before”

So. Funny.

It’s like this. In the morning when I wake up, I’ll put on a pair of skinny jeans and a Sonics t-shirt—but then when it’s time to go out, I’ll ironically slap on a pair of runners, some blue jeans, and a no-name golf shirt I ironically bought at Target. And those thick-rimmed glasses I used to wear? I still wear them in my house, but I got them changed to a zero prescription since I recently ironically got laser eye surgery.

{mcsweeney’s via coudal}

Old People Are From Mars

Stephen Colbert has an idea on how to reduce the federal deficit: send the elderly to Mars. Getting them off Earth and on “Red Springs” will reduce the cost of Medicare and Social Security, and features a climate and terrain similar to Arizona.

Stephen begins the clip by explaining how a one-way trip to Mars would save 80%, but isn’t recommended for people of child bearing age.

Check out the full clip here.